Albert Mehrabian, Professor Emeritus of Psychology at UCLA, once stated that 55% of all communication occurs through non-verbal means. He claimed that communication can be broken down to the ‘three V’s': verbal, vocal and visual. 7% of human communication is verbal, the words we use. 37% is vocal, the tone of voice we use to deliver them, and 55% is visual. Body language, it seems, is how we truly communicate as a species.
It seems almost counter-intuitive at first, that the words we use count for almost nothing in our communication. We think we can cover our feelings and intentions with words, but listeners can read us like a book by simply noticing the slight movement of a hand, the raising of an eyebrow or the set of our stance, the unconscious tics that betray our true feelings.
It’s almost unbelievable, until you remember that humans existed for thousands of years before we developed speech, and before that for millions of years in other forms. All communication is physical in the natural world, and speech is a relatively recent invention that we think of, quite wrongly, as much more advanced. For most of our history we’ve communicated with our bodies and, despite what we think, we still do to an extent that would surprise us.
Body Language in the Modern Day
Some people, it seems, have an innate understanding that body language is the most powerful and important form of communication. We all seem to know someone who can flirt without opening his mouth. We’ve all met people who seem to control a room from the moment they walk in, people who radiate power and confidence with a firm handshake and a steady gaze. Whether they’re doing it consciously is unclear, but these people are masters of communication through body language.
These people understand, whether consciously or not, that body language matters. They know that our movements and expressions betray our feelings and affect our relationships. They also understand that noticing the body language of others helps us understand how others are feeling and what they’re thinking.
This ability, as magic as it may seem to gain insights into the thoughts and feelings of those around us, is nothing but a skill. What’s more it’s a skill that can be learned, and one that can have an enormous impact on every relationship in our lives, both personal and professional.
How You Can Use Body Language To Your Advantage
Body language training can be useful for everyone. By learning the rules of non-verbal communication you can get an edge over everyone around you. By learning this ancient, secret language you can find yourself better understanding the people you deal with day to day, better able to communicate, express yourself, argue and convince.
Body language training can help you interpret and understand physical language, a skill the value of which is difficult to overstate.
The 8 Aspects of Body Language
Nearly all of our body language can be broken down into 8 aspects. It’s these that communicate our true feelings, and once mastered we can use them to hide, minimize or amplify our true thoughts.
1. The eyes
They say the eyes are the window into the soul, but in less poetic terms they’re simply a tool for communication. Eye contact is one of the most important ways we communicate. A long, steady gaze or avoidance of eye contact can tell people a lot about what we’re thinking, and with a little body language training we can learn to control the eyes, telling people only what we want to say.
2. The face
Naturally, the face is where we show the majority of our emotions. A smile, a frown or a look of confusion gives away our most obvious emotions.
3. The voice
While 55% of communication is body language, a whole 38% is tone of voice. Like lulling a baby to sleep, our words mean little but the tone is all important.
4. The stance
Posture can telegraph emotions for hundreds of meters. Whether striding confidently into a room or slouched lazily in the corner, posture is one of the most obvious and immediate non-verbal cues.
5. The gesture
A surprising amount of communication comes from our hands, and also some of the most powerful messages. We all understand the power of a raised middle finger, a thumbs up or a wave. When matched with expressions and tone of voice, hand gestures become incredibly powerful communication tools.
6. The touch
Tactile communication is, quite simply, the only reason our species is still around. The power of touch is vital in everthing from business, where a firm handshake can make or break an economy, to our personal relationships, where a tender touch can make or break a marriage.
7. The appearance
While it may not seem to be part of body language, the way we present ourselves speaks volumes about us. The way we dress, the standard of our hygiene and grooming and our physical condition tells more about us than any of us should be comfortable with.
8. The movement
Finally, our overall movement makes our intentions very clear. Looming over someone may seem dominant and cowering away submissive. Everything about our movements speaks to our feelings and intentions.
The Final Word (As If Words Matter)
It’s clear to see that body language is about much more than a firm handshake and a pleasant smile. Everything about our movements, expressions and general manner paint a picture of us, broadcasting our thoughts and feelings to the world.
Through body language training, though, we can not only learn the rules of non-verbal communication, helping us understand what those around us are really thinking and feeling, but we can also learn how to control our own communication more effectively, revealing only what we want to reveal and presenting ourselves in the most favorable light.
Mastering body language can be the key to unlocking your true potential. It can help break down barriers and form new and stronger relationships, both professional and personal. In short, an education in the basics of body language can be the road map on your journey to success.